The Yangzhong Puffer Fish, a real thing, is located along the banks of the Yangtze River in Jiangsu, China. The magnificent almost-300-foot fish, which I want to again emphasize is a real thing that the Yangzhong municipal government decided to build, cost USD 11 million. That USD 11 million expenditure was, if you can believe if, under the original budget by one and a half million dollars. Go figure. This article was first published on Roger Presents:.
INTERIOR. SPARE CONCRETE OFFICE LIT BRIGHTLY FROM OVERHEAD WITH HARSH BLUE-WHITE BULBS.
“Good afternoon, Cadre.”
“Good afternoon, sir.”
“So we got your city budget.”
“Very good, sir. Was it well received?”
“Yes, it was submitted punctually.”
“Good.”
“I just have one question.”
“Please, go ahead.”
“What exactly did you allocate this RMB 70 million for?”
“That? Oh, that was for the fish.”
“The fish?”
“Yes, the gold fish monument. Construction is almost finished. It’s kind of like a city mascot.”
“A mascot?”
“Yes, like a mascot.”
“A giant gold puffer fish mascot.” (Pause.) “Is it big?”
“You haven’t seen it?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Well, it is very big, sir.”
“How big?”
“62 meters tall, 90 meters long, and 44 meters wide. And the viewing platform is 15 stories high.”
“Wow. That’s a really big puffer fish.”
“Yes sir.” (Smiles proudly.) “You must come to the groundbreaking ceremony.”
“Will there be fireworks?”
“Of course, sir. You will be my guest.”
“Good.” (Pause.) “You said there was a viewing platform?”
“Yes sir.”
“Where?”
“It’s in the belly.”
“The belly?”
“The belly of the puffer fish, yes.”
“How is the view?”
“Glorious, sir. It is a very nice view.”
“Well that’s good.”
(Pause.)
“So you spent how much money on this project?”
“RMB 70 million, sir.”
“That’s a lot of money.”
“Yes.” (Pause.) “Did I tell you about the lights?”
“The lights?”
“Yes, the lights.”
“No, you didn’t mention the lights.”
“Oh! Well, the lights are very beautiful.”
“Are they colorful?”
“Of course, sir. Very colorful.”
“Well that’s good.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Did you go over budget?”
“No sir. RMB ten million under budget, in fact.”
“So you planned on spending RMB 80 million on the giant puffer fish mascot?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you think maybe such spending is wasteful?”
“No sir, I do not.”
(Pause.) “I really like puffer fish.”
“Me too, sir.”
